Remembering

Fair warning: This post is pretty emotional.

When the persimmons were ripe last year, I remembered Edith and the cookie parties she used to host for the holidays.

This year I'm remembering another cookie party guest who was claimed by cancer this week. Patti was full of life, always the one to get the laughter going at the party. I first knew her through the Parents Club...our version of the PTA at the local elementary school. Her daughter was a few years younger than my youngest, but we soon got to know each other through various Parents Club projects. Patti was a doer, a very hard worker, but she didn't like the spotlight. She had a huge heart and was the first to come forward to help when a family was in trouble due to a house fire or flooding or a death in the family.

She was an excellent cook and baker and entertainer. As our children moved beyond elementary school we only saw each other at the cookie party. At her funeral yesterday her brother mentioned that she always made family members Almond Roca and other candies for Christmas, so, instead of cookies, or instead of a braided bread as Peabody did, Patti will be remembered through a recipe for that crunchy, almondy, chocolate-rich candy.

Yesterday was also really, really hard for me. I don't usually do guilt and rarely self pity, but after the funeral there was a reception at the fire station since Patti worked there and the fire community is most generous. Eight and a half years ago they were generous and supportive and hosted the post-burial reception for my son. This was a different fire station, but it not only brought back a lot of memories, but a number of the boys that my son had played with were there, too, being supportive to Patti's family. It wasn't easy to see how these boys had grown...they are young men now...and to see how they have moved on with their lives...one will be a new father in a week or so. The most difficult part was that I remembered them as youngsters playing with Max. Since he had such a good heart, if he were alive I'm fairly certain that Max would have been there in support, too. The hole in our lives that exists since he has been gone is always there, but in that situation it was front and center and gaping. Overwhelming. Sweetie says that I'm a mother who lost her son and it's OK to still grieve. That's a good thing, because, suddenly, I am in a big way...grieving for the loss and the man he would have been and the friend he would have been to many, for the life he didn't get to experience.

The bottom line?... life can be short...16 years for Max, 50 for Patti...not long enough for either of them. Treasure your days, your family, your friends, your talents, your health, your life. (Notice I didn't include your things?...even though Christmas has become all about things, they really are small potatoes compared to the others listed). Oh, yes...remember to cook, bake, or do something else creative that you can share with others. It is a spirit lifter.

Wishing you a holiday where you take time to enjoy each day (and the beauty that exists in the world), your family and friends, your talents, your health. Hoping that you take time to share your time with those you love...it is the most valuable gift you can give. I wish you, precious readers, long and happy lives and a joyous holiday season. (Thanks for letting me wallow a bit and share...it really helps.)

Almond Roca Candy

Photo above from Simply Recipes

Ingredients:
1 cup butter
1 cup granulated sugar
3 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon light corn syrup
1 cup finely chopped toasted almonds
1 cup milk or dark chocolate chips

Directions:
Melt the butter in a saucepan. Add the sugar, water, and corn syrup. Cook the mixture over medium heat, stirring.
When the sugar dissolves and the mixture begins to boil, raise the heat and bring the mixture to 290 degrees on a cooking thermometer (soft crack stage.) It will be light brown in color, and syrup will separate into threads that are not brittle when dribbled into cold water.
Quickly stir in 1/2 cup chopped almonds. Immediately pour the mixture onto an ungreased baking sheet.
Wait 2 or 3 minutes for the candy surface to firm, then sprinkle on the chocolate chips. In a few minutes, when the chips have softened, spread the chocolate evenly over the surface. Sprinkle the remaining almonds over the melted chocolate.
When the chocolate hardens, crack the candy into pieces. Store covered.

This recipe from CDKitchen for Almond Roca serves/makes 1.5 lbs