Friday, January 06, 2012

Motherhood


Motherhood has been written about in all sorts of ways but I think it is still an elusive concept, perhaps because each woman brings her own unique self to the job. My take on it is probably different than yours but I've been in the trenches quite a while now so I have a certain valid perspective.

One of the things that usually come with the territory are an intense desire for your progeny to be happy, or if that isn't possible at the moment, to be content. All too often life brings events and people into their lives that challenge even the possibility of contentedness unless they have mastered meditation or something similar. As a mom, once they have left high school (and probably long before that, truth be told), we have to let them contend with what life throws at them, let them make their own choices even if we suspect that the outcome will be less that happy, and be there for what little wisdom and comfort they will take. This is called 'building character' but it is difficult to watch.

Sometimes we get a gift such as the one I've received this Christmas. My daughter earned these things through hard work and some of that character building stuff and I was there for her during all that as much as one can be, but it still feels like an unexpected gift.

During the space of about three months she landed a new job that brings her back to California in 2012 and it's a job that will challenge her and sharpen her professional skills, plus I think she will find joy in many aspects of it, including the proximity to sea creatures, a long time love.

She has also, with a little help from Sweetie and me, found a cute house to move into with lots of sunny aspects and outdoor living space not too far from the new job.

The best gift of all is that she is happy with a guy who is happy with her and he seems like the kind of guy you would hope to have her happy with. It probably means that her dad and I will see less of her but if that intense desire for your daughter to be happy is not only being satisfied, but looks like it might continue to be so, the time we will spend together will probably be happier, too.

Speaking of happy, my own Mom has seen me through good times and bad. She told me one time that there is a certain view she just loves. Since it is a continent away from where she is, the photo at the top is for my Mom until she can see the real thing. Hope that makes her happy!

Here's hoping that, if you are a mom, your child or children, no matter their age, are finding their happiness or in search of it. After all, we are at the beginning of a new year, an artificial construct it's true, since each day is equally worthy and comes in its own time, but one which gives us an opportunity to stop for a moment and think about what we can do to be happier, or at least content. Let's wish that for ourselves, too, OK?

3 comments :

Baking Soda said...

Lovely lovely written Elle!

"this is called 'building character'"

I will remember that one when I have difficulties watching the character being build!

Sounds like your daughter is in a sweet spot right now, enjoy!!!

Anonymous said...

That was so beautifully written it made me cry. I'm so happy for our girl. She has definitely earned it. She is so lucky that you are her mother. Be proud.
Love and big hugs,
Natasha

Elle said...

Baking Soda, Thanks. It is always difficult watching (or participating in) character building, but essential to being fully alive.

I am proud...and happy. Love you Natasha!