Remembering Max

Ten years ago today my son Max would have turned seventeen. He never made it that far due to an auto accident almost a month before. He is missed every day, but on his birthday I celebrate the time we were blessed to have him in our lives. This is not a sad day now, but one to remember the good times.

If you didn't know him, the images above might not make much sense. I'll talk a bit about each, starting at the left. It's a food...and this is a food blog (mostly).

He loved blackberries from an early age. Once we moved to our farm, he and his friends would make what he called feasts. They took grape leaves from the vines by the driveway

and mounded them with blackberries from the vines by the chicken house, added Gravenstein apples from those trees and a few walnuts if they had ripened before the blackberries finished being ripe.

The next image is a saxophone. He played on in middle school, but switched to the trombone in high school because there were too many saxophone players. Music was a big part of his life...from zero period jazz band at 6 am to regular band classes and a love of all kinds of music which he played with an early MP3 player.

He had to get a work permit to work at Crown Books the summer between freshman and sophomore years of high school because he wasn't old enough to work. Because he loved books, got to work with college kids, including college girls, and because once he dressed up in a dress shirt and tie people treated him as if he were older, he very much enjoyed his job at the book store. Once they learned that he was a whiz with computers, they had him not only updating their computer files, but ordering all the computer books for that section. Quite a lot of responsibility for someone barely 15.

The next image is for Star Wars, one of his favorite movie series. He would be thrilled to learn that one of his school buddies is now working on a Star Wars TV show down in Marin.

Sweetie called Max and Xam kennel mates because they slept together for years until they both got to be too large to easily share a twin bed. (There is a cute photo of the two of them asleep in the photo collage below.) His friends called Xam the anti-Max because Xam is Max spelled backwards. They were best buds.

Soccer was a big part of his life from about age 5 until age 14. He played travel club soccer for the last seven of those years. He started as a striker, but found in later years that he loved defense.

The computer was such an important part of his life that it is hard to explain it. He was in 4th grade when he received a Casio watch which had a tiny keyboard. He used it to keep track of his assignments and used the timer feature to remind him when recess was almost over. There was always a computer in the house since Sweetie was an early user at home as well as at work. Early programs that he enjoyed included a story writer one and a math drill one.

He was still in middle school when he and two other friends did a web site for Traditional Medicinals for a good fee. He was on the Internet as early as one could be and not work for the military or government. At one point I heard him laughing while he and a friend were on so I went to see what they were up to. They were on the Internet telling someone that they were PC salesmen. I asked how old they had portrayed themselves as and was told 26. I guess 26 seemed old when you were 12. By the time he died, Max had 30 college credits in Computer Science. Many of his friends work in the field these days. Seeing as they all came here and did all night computer parties where they networked their computers to play games (around 1997 - 1999) I'm not too surprised.

The background is of the beach at Bodega Bay...a favorite place, especially when he was in high school.

A few of his favorite things...and happy memories for me.

How Max looked at many ages. Unlikely as it might be, if you remember him from one of the photos, do leave a comment talking about it.

As you can see, baking has been part of family life for a long time. making Christmas cookies together, especially the decorated kind was a true tradition. Coloring Easter eggs was another, and picking out and then carving Halloween pumpkins was an annual family adventure.

Max had a very good sense of taste and enjoyed trying new foods. From the time he could walk he would take walks with his Dad in the neighborhood. At this time of year he would show up after the walk with a face smeared with blackberry juice and juice purpled fingers...and a big smile. After he learned a song at pre-school about artichokes, we had to have them, including different things to dip the cooked leaves in like melted butter and mayonnaise. He had a life long love of artichokes. Later, on a trip to Seattle, he tried snow crab and that became a special treat when we could find it. The same thing happened with lobster and blue crab...tried 'em on trips and would eat them as often as possible after that. When we went to Victoria, BC we tried a number of clam chowders, finally deciding that Pellikanos had the best one. Returning home we had to try local clam chowders to see if any were as good.

A couple of summers before his last one we did some food tastings that I planned. First I had him try regular Kraft grated Parmesan cheese, then some grated domestic Parmesan cheese, then some of the real deal Parmesan-Reggiano from Italy. He was blown away when he tasted the third one all by itself. He had enjoyed it often since it was what I cooked with whenever possible, but tasting it by itself, especially in comparison to the other two helped him understand how important good ingredients can be. We did the same sort of thing with dark chocolates and maple syrups. A fun experience!

Some people don't enjoy foods they have to work to enjoy...like picking crab or walnuts ...and others do. Max and his grandad Max both did and one or two times they got to enjoy it together as here, where they are picking the meats of walnuts from our trees.

Strangely enough, since he enjoyed new foods, he also enjoyed food routines. I'm pretty sure he packed the exact same lunch each day during 4th and 5th grades, with no variations. He loved popcorn and that was a favorite after school snack, easily made in the microwave day after day after day. For fast food his favorite places were Burger King and Taco Bell. His favorite soda was Pepsi. We had lots of Burger King and Taco Bell meals while doing that club soccer thing.

More happy memories...and food memories can be really lasting because they usually include the associated fragrances...which are supposed to be very long lasting. Happy food memories to each of you dear readers. Hope these memories spark some of your own.

Elle