When you are little it often seems like life will be a series of shoulds...you should go to school, make friends, learn how to drive, graduate, get a job/career and/or get married, have kids...and maybe a dog or cat or both, buy a car, buy a house, have a hobby or volunteer or read a lot of books or watch a lot of TV/movies are all of those, in any combination, plus a few vacations.
In reality very few of us get that standard issue life. We find it hard to make friends, or we don't have a stable home life, so the rest gets off to a poor start, or we find out that we have a vision issue and can't drive, or we flunk out, or there is a recession and finding a job is hard, and so on.
Perhaps the relationship thing is the one that is most expected...but then you find that you are gay or trans or non-binary and it gets complicated. Perhaps you fall in love but it isn't returned, or the person you love dies young, or any number of other scenarios that fill books and movies and TV, or...most common I think...you never meet the right person, the perfect fit.
Still, sometimes it's just easier to do it the hard way, as my son would say, and so you keep on keeping on and you figure out who you are and hopefully get to like yourself, at least a little, and you get lucky. I still think that luck plays a big part in chunks of our lives.
I was lucky to meet my Sweetie. Our neighbors had a hand in it, throwing us together when they could, until we realized that we wanted to get to know each other better.
Our awesome, talented, gifted, and wonderful daughter had a winding road in the earlier part of her life, but she got lucky, too. She found her person and he found his in her. Sweetie and I like him a lot, but that's icing on the cake...what's important is that she likes him a lot, and loves him, too. And the love is returned.
At Christmas he found a few moments when he knew she wouldn't be around and when Sweetie and I were together and alone...and he asked us if we would support his asking our daughter to marry him. We were thrilled and agreed, but then had to wait and keep it a secret until he asked her. Wasn't easy.
And she said 'Yes!' this past weekend. He is her person and she is his person and at least one of those dreams from when she was little has come true. I couldn't be happier.
Aww, congratulations.
ReplyDeleteIt's such a funny thing - my LITTLE brother asked his girlfriend to marry him unexpectedly at the end of January. We were all - gobsmacked. I suspect SHE knew, but the rest of us were certainly in the dark! It's funny how the pandemic has changed timelines; some people would've been happy to coast along just dating but for some younger folk they've gotten a fire built under them.
We wish you all happy in-law-ness.
Thanks Tanita! We are excited. I think they took into consideration the fact that they weathered the enforced togetherness of the initial lockdown, moved twice, she got a new job, learned how to be a 'responsible adult influence' to his son, are sharing a house with the son's mom, and they are still madly in love. Those are some tests to the relationship to weather. Congratulations to you for a new upcoming sister-in-law! Fun that your brother surprised you. I wish them a happy life together.
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